I’m back from my 6 WEEK FLORIDA TRIP! I traveled there & back by myself, by car & what I first off have to say is I DID IT!! I did it with God!! It happened!! What I said repeated times to others happened & even better than I planned!
How to Navigate Change is one point from my traveling experience!
Florida is FILLED with majorly TALL & long bridges! My experience with them began while traveling to Florida & a friend suggested driving through & enjoying Savannah, Georgia rather than the crazy traffic of Atlanta! I said, “Sounds great!” as I envisioned Scarlett O’Hara in her fanciful gown with Rhett Butler in his fine, formal stud suit from Gone with The Wind strolling about the grounds of columned homes. I pictured people of Southern hospitality serving me home-made peach pie with ice tea on platters. Everything was going well in route there until the approach to downtown Savannah where my eyes enlarged like saucers & my heart skipped beats!! Ahead of me on the road stood a HUGE…HUGE bridge to get to Savannah! Suddenly, peaches didn’t matter…I only cared about my LIFE!
In those very moments, I was forced to decide. Was I going to turn around & forfeit seeing Savannah? What route would I take after backing out of this situation? Or would I SOMEHOW go over it & survive? I was tired from driving a full day & my eyes were desperately searching for a spot to pull off & turn around. But at a certain point, I passed the chance to do so & headed up that bridge!
I drove up & over that bridge whispering, “Look at Jesus. Look at Jesus” all the way up & over. I thought how are they gonna’ get me outta’ this place afterward, cuz’ I am NOT gonna’ wanna’ come back over THIS! They’ll have to helicopter me out! Of course, that wouldn’t happen. No one would care; I’d just be stuck there while everyone else’s life proceeded on. Thankfully the way out Ft. Lauderdale afterward had a different route. Thank you, Jesus…I escaped.
Then, there were southeast Florida’s freeway transitions & big bridges. I saw Freeways up ahead that looked like they were driving up into the sky. Sometimes I didn’t have to go on them. Sometimes I looked ahead & thought Thank Heaven GPS isn’t taking me that way! And then GPS certainly did direct me onto that curving ramp up into the sky! The freeway transitions had inclines so steep & were so curved like a chocolate curl on top of a cake! I had anxiety of driving off the outer edge! I had to PUSH on my gas pedal the road was so angled! I felt like I was on a roller coaster slowly creeping up to the top of the first hill where all you see is empty sky ahead, ready to plummet down the other side at 90 mph!
I had to decide, was I going to avoid these bridges & highways or take them on & have victory over them. What would I be willing to miss out on if I allowed them to be superior to the strength God is within me? I planned to do this trip for a year, was I going to miss seeing cities because of fear? Was it real fear? Would I feel shameful for avoiding them?
People were telling me there was a bridge I’d have to go over if I wanted to get to Tampa called the Sunshine Skyway Bridge. Nothin’ sunny about this bridge in my opinion. Sadly, it is the #4 bridge in the country that people give up their life from. I didn’t understand where it was going to come up in my travels, but it did. I went out with friend one night from the area & thankfully she fearlessly drove us over it like a pro…in the rain!
But there came the day when I had to conquer this 4.14-mile-long monster myself. I took it on…I said, “If Jodie can do it, I can too! And I hauled my car over that bridge declaring “Fear not for I am with you” & some other techniques too.
So, how do we navigate change in life…getting over the tall bridges or mountains to where we have to go for better & fulfillment? For one thing, there can be illusions. You’re not going to drive off the edge during your travels or in your problems. There is pavement coming down the other side of that hill or tall problem. Sometimes we have the option to take the change slowly, but not always.
I found these things helpful to overcome:
Maybe you need a sister who has already crossed over the bridges you’re facing right now. Maybe you need someone to drive over those bridges with you the first time while you build your confidence to do it again next time. Maybe you need a Coach on this journey with you?
Part of my Life & Relationship coaching is for people who are in places feeling afraid, tired or uncertain of what to do next. They can’t see to the other side of the bridge that will land them safely onto land again. They face such a high road ahead & don’t know how or can’t go up it.
That’s where I can come in. I am here to coach you over & through situations. I am a helper & a hope helper to help you get to the other side of problems…go over the bridges. Navigate the bridges…navigate change to good land.
I’m so glad I went over all the bridges, conquered them & ENJOYED MY FULL VACATION & DID ALL GOD WANTED ME TO DO IN FLORIDA!
“But encourage one another daily” (Hebrews 3:13).
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"When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart." A friend shared this saying with me recently. I had never heard of it, and love it. It's actually a song title I've included below. The lyrics say “our father knows what’s best for us. His ways are not our own.” I tend to often think of the word “best” as meaning I’m going to get vegetables with no butter or salt instead of a savory burger or dessert all the time. And who wants that. But Noah Webster says this about the word “best”:
1. Most good; having good qualities in the highest degree;
2. Most advanced; most accurate;
3. Most correct or complete;
4. The best. … the utmost power; the strongest endeavor; the most, the highest perfection;
5. In the highest degree; beyond all other
I see “best” is also “good” to me. “According to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord” (Psalm 25:7). That’s His heart, His character. So "when you can't see or trace His hand in your life and what He is doing, trust His heart. That according to His character and His heart, He is preparing something that is best and wonderful for you.
Waking up one morning in a very broken state of life, I heard God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit agreeing over me saying, “We can rebuild her. We have the tools.” If you grew up when I did, you’d know those are the words to the intro of the weekly sci-fi show “The Six Million Dollar Man” airing 1974-78’. Astronaut Steve Austin was in a spaceship crash and scientists rebuilt him with bionics in surgery, costing six million dollars. I had to pull up the video below. Listen to the words and insert your own name in it.
“Denise Flynn…we can rebuild her…We have the tools…We have the capability… Denise Flynn will be that woman. Better than she was before. Better…Stronger…Faster.”
Don’t you love it! No matter what's going on right now, no matter how broken you are, if you go through it right with God, you will come out healed and better. Lean into God. Use Him for His healing love and power. Know that He wants to love on you and help you. Keep your attitudes toward him and not turning away or lacking trust and hope. Don't become bitter. Be obedient. In doing so, we can count on His promises to rebuild us.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (Psalm 147:3).
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces
perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5
Yeah, these promises can be yours at the cost and sacrifice of Jesus. Look out for YOU…future Six Million Dollar Man and Woman in process of being rebuilt right now!
Is there something you want to do that you know you should not? Is it fantasizing over a hot
looking girl or guy? Have you been having a little fun with letting lustful thoughts of them stay in your
mind? Are you finding it difficult to give something or someone up for the sake of honoring God and the better intentions and direction He has for your life? Is there a way to live better according to God’s word that will not be easy for you as far as the discipline required on your part?
Whatever it is you find challenging at this point, know that whatever you are not wanting to do, but do… or whatever you find hard to be without, but carry on forward without it, you can offer the challenge, the pain or the discomfort up as a sacrifice and offering to God.
Numbers 28:1-3 NIV says:
“The Lord said to Moses, 2 “Give this command to the Israelites and say to them: ‘Make sure that you present to me at the appointed time my food offerings, as an aroma pleasing to me.’ 3 Say to them: ‘This is the food offering you are to present to the Lord: two lambs a year old without defect, as a regular burnt offering each day”.
Let’s pull this apart and look inside at it.
Verse 2: “See that you present to me at the appointed time the food for my offerings made by fire,
as an aroma pleasing to me.” So you’ve got something "ungood" I’ll call it going on. it's a struggle inside of you. If you give it and consider God’s feelings above your own (that’s the sacrifice and offering part) God is going to take it as something good…”an aroma pleasing to me”.
Verse 2: “an offering made by fire”…Are you going through the fire right now? The situation is hot and trying you? If you are responding right to the fire, or right to the conviction you are in (by God’s ways), you are being purified. You are being made more into His image and going more to where He wants to take you.
Verse 3: “as a regular burnt offering each day”…Each day you give it all to the Lord as an offering…”Lord, this is (whatever you feel), but I’m offering up my plans and taking on yours instead.
May you find me and my offering pleasing to you like a fine aroma.”
God will find this pleasing. It smells good to Him. It refreshes Him you may say. And whenever you do something toward God, He rewards you.
10 Steps to healing from a breakup:
1) Do not ruminate (going over and over again about things, events or conversations that transpired good or bad). If you’re going to ruminate about something, think over and over again about all the rooms that are in the mansion Jesus has gone to prepare for you. This will have you thinking on things that are pure, lovely and excellent.
For some time in your mind, you will keep re-experiencing the relationship and the break up by flashbacks and intrusive re-living thoughts. Part of this is normal, but why would you allow yourself to continue to participate in that after awhile?
If you don’t take the reins of your mind, pretty soon…not long…Satan will have you wrapped around his big finger with spiraling negative and controlling thoughts. Then once you’re wrapped around his finger, he’ll point that finger right at you and accuse you for being that way. “Satan loves nothing more than “to cripple you and then put you down for limping” -Adriane Rogers.
Process and power will both play a part in your healing. It’s normal to go through steps of
grief (shock, denial, bargaining, anger and depression). So know that some of what you are feeling or thinking are natural aspects of the breakup or relationship not progressing into something further. But at a certain point in these steps of grief (when you just say, “I am going to get through this victoriously), you will have to draw the line and not give the sadness or emotions power over you. When you get to the point of REFUSAL, you will get to the point of REVIVAL. And the way you will defeat that is by
using the power of Christ to take every thought captive, kicking them out of your mind and replace them with all the truth of God. You can say to the thought, “Did you read the sign? It says “Not Allowed!
Good-bye!” Enter…good thought you chose to put in: “God loves me. I am special. There is a plan for me. I will walk confidently.”
Ask yourself this: How many minutes in an hour do I think about the other person? You may need freedom. You may have just been called to take hold of your freedom.
2) Break off and sever soul ties to the other person (attachments of your mind, will and emotions that are run deep). Pray this: “In the name of Jesus, with all His power, I break off any kind of soul tie of whatever degree, between me and _______. My life, mind, will or emotions are no longer connected to them. I am and will walk freely out of this and into the right relationship God has planned for me. I want only what is truly meant for me and no substitutes.”
Now visualize what you just did. Take a piece of ribbon, rope or chain and cut it in two. Leave the pieces where you can see them for however long you need, to remind you that you are now
unattached and free from the other person. When you re-experience feelings or thoughts, look at the pieces and say, “No! I am separated from that person. There is nothing in existence that binds me. I am free in my mind from that person and I am moving forward.
3) Praise it off. Praise your way through and out of depression, sadness or hopelessness.
Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17 NIV). Get freedom while you’re in praise and go in and get more when you need it again.
4) Start thanking God that it didn’t work out. If the other person were really yours, they wouldn’t have left (think of the story of Ruth clinging to Naomi). The person is not needed in the beautiful, large plan for your life. And God says you have one (“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). So out loud, thank God for His care. It doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong with the other person.
You don’t have to think negatively about them in order to feel better about yourself; just be concerned about yourself at this point. Say “Thank God I’ve been saved from the wrong decision. I’m putting this all in your hands Lord.”
5) Don’t put the other person on a pedestal. It’s easy to make them an idol without even realizing, but check yourself, you probably are. So they were cool, yes they are. They had specific traits and ways you really liked. Purposely open your eyes though and start looking around you. You will see that other people have some of those same traits too. One may have this one and another may have that one, but that’s proof to you that those traits can be found again. There are other cool people too. This should help you get a better cognitive understanding.
6) Forgive the other person. Let yourself out of captivity and torture.
7) Pray this if you feel rejected:
Father, I repent for receiving rejection, even if the parting is not my fault or I feel I didn’t deserve it. I repent. You have proven and say I am so much more than rejected. By the blood that you shed, I am free from this. I will not remain a victim.
I put this rejection back onto you Jesus; for it was for these kinds of things and more that you willingly died for me. Thank you for taking it for me Jesus. I apply your blood to this feeling and whatever has transpired. I have nothing to be ashamed of.
I am free now. Rejection has no more power over me.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
8) Bless the other person in prayer.
9) Write a positive statement about yourself. And know that God multiplies that many times over.
10) Dig into Jesus. Go after a richer relationship with God. He is so desiring of you. He loves you more than anyone else ever could.
In those times when you feel singleness isn’t always that pleasurable (actually downright difficult), it’s so good having a single man named Jesus as companion, the lover of you, your helper and hope. Sometimes there is disappointment, loneliness, rejection, unmet physical desires or the need for a helping mate. God is there for us, accessible to heal, mend, help and sustain us. He is able to help us through the things that happen around us, to us and in what we do ourselves. So say, “Take me through this Lord. Get right down in the very middle of my heart with your Holy Spirit to work in and for me. I’m giving you these things I know just not what to do with at this time. I’m beside myself. So come sit beside me and I acknowledge that you will soothe, fill and help me.”
“Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).
After the wandering Israelites had roamed in the desert of confusion for 40 years, the Lord’s command for them going into Canaan was this: “‘When you enter the land I am going to give you, the land itself must observe a sabbath to the Lord. For six years sow your fields, and for six years prune your vineyards and gather their crops. But in the seventh year the land is to have a year of sabbath rest, a sabbath to the Lord. Do not sow your fields or prune your vineyards. Do not reap what grows of itself or harvest the grapes of your untended vines. The land is to have a year of rest. Whatever the land yields during the sabbath year will be food for you—for yourself, your male and female servants, and the hired worker and temporary resident who live among you” (Leviticus 25:2-6).
Are you spinning your wheels getting nowhere but hurt and confused with men or women? Do you need a rest from dating or relationships? Time away from the frustration of trying to make something work with the opposite gender? Maybe you've been sowing in the wrong places or at the wrong times? Do you need some time just for YOU….no straining…to rest your land? Maybe it’s time for a relationship Sabbath…time to step away from romantic relationships. One definition Noah Webster gives the word Sabbath is an “Intermission of pain or sorrow; time of rest.” …rest your emotions…get or regain your bearings.
In this scripture, the Lord instructed the Israelites to take "a sabbath of rest, a Sabbath to the Lord". Would it make sense to rest from relationships and do it with Him in mind. This Sabbath time, a time of rest, is for the Lord and you together…time to establish a relationship with Him, time to grow in closeness with Him and develop yourself and life with Him…a time solely with Him.
As the scripture says, whatever and all this Sabbath time yields will be for YOU. And the people
closest to you will also reap the food or benefits as you rest, heal, grow and flourish.
If it’s called for, consider this Sabbath as doing something nice for yourself, for the Lord, for the others around you. Rest your land.
I met a new individual recently. He told me about his recent relationship that ended. The relationship had a bit of uniqueness about it which only told me how important the woman must have been to this man. The relationship had ended and I could see the disappointment in his countenance. I offered him some encouragement. He replied, “You sound exactly like her. She would have said something like that. She was that way too.” I said, “You know there are others of us out here…encouragers that is. She’s not the only one.” My point was this: Don’t hang your hat or your heart on the traits or character of one that didn’t stay with you. We sometimes tend to think that NO ONE else will ever have what they had and become sadder. Be encouraged; there are others out there who will have some of the same traits AND maybe even have a few more that are even more attractive to you! Maybe God just used a situation to show you a trait that you want to ask him for in your real future mate. Keep your heart offered up to God for healing. You will live again without that pain. You are dearly loved.
Wisdom & encouragement to share with others!
Denise Flynn writes about Singleness, Relationships, Goal Obtainment & the Christian walk. Order