"When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart." A friend shared this saying with me recently. I had never heard of it, and love it. It's actually a song title I've included below. The lyrics say “our father knows what’s best for us. His ways are not our own.” I tend to often think of the word “best” as meaning I’m going to get vegetables with no butter or salt instead of a savory burger or dessert all the time. And who wants that. But Noah Webster says this about the word “best”:
1. Most good; having good qualities in the highest degree;
2. Most advanced; most accurate;
3. Most correct or complete;
4. The best. … the utmost power; the strongest endeavor; the most, the highest perfection;
5. In the highest degree; beyond all other
I see “best” is also “good” to me. “According to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord” (Psalm 25:7). That’s His heart, His character. So "when you can't see or trace His hand in your life and what He is doing, trust His heart. That according to His character and His heart, He is preparing something that is best and wonderful for you.
Choosing Dates & Mates
Have the types of dates & mates you've chosen through the years changed? If not, you may not have grown spiritually, emotionally or relationally.
A hope is that over the years as we come closer in relationship with Christ, we would become more like him in nature…in our character, transferring over to our actions & treatment of others. A hope is that we would fall more in love with God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit. A hope is that we also would have sought wholeness, healing & deliverance for ourselves. The first does not automatically take care of the last. Sometimes people hold back from further healing due to lack or knowledge of what they’re really carrying or where to receive such help from or having pride not to disclose hurts or hangons to others. We choose better dates & mates much like when we decide to put healthier food into our own bodies, we become a better grocery shopper.
The hope is that after being transformed in those ways ourselves first, we would desire another that has the fruit of Christ & has resolved and received healing from inner wounds, great doubts & behaviors that don’t model Christ. I spoke with a person who was asked “What did your former spouse & people you dated all have in common?” The common denominator lead the person asked to a realization of what trait(s) to avoid upon becoming involved again & to take responsibility to not move forward in that case. The common denominator lead the person to committing to changing themselves to make a better future selection.
If one hasn’t courted/dated in a while, what is the reason? Is it because a male/female hasn’t been found with those qualities? We really do have to be praying for the walk & growth of our brothers & sisters, don’t we? Has one found themselves keeping better company in friendships? Has one’s inner circle become filled with love & strength rather than unnecessary drama, people acting out of the will of God or hurtful people? Those are good signs that a person has reached a deeper maturity in Christ. Is it that one has fallen so much in love with Christ that they feel content with Him alone? That’s great too! So many would love to be able to say that, but haven’t come to that place yet. Contentment is beautiful.
So our goal for ourselves should be to chase God & seek wholeness & healing first & if lead, to pursue or wait to be pursued by another with the same heart & spiritual, emotional & relational health in terms of romantic relationships. Choosing the right relationships saves us hurt & increases our joy.
Wisdom & encouragement to share with others!
Denise Flynn writes about Singleness, Relationships, Goal Obtainment & the Christian walk. Order