"When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart." A friend shared this saying with me recently. I had never heard of it, and love it. It's actually a song title I've included below. The lyrics say “our father knows what’s best for us. His ways are not our own.” I tend to often think of the word “best” as meaning I’m going to get vegetables with no butter or salt instead of a savory burger or dessert all the time. And who wants that. But Noah Webster says this about the word “best”:
1. Most good; having good qualities in the highest degree;
2. Most advanced; most accurate;
3. Most correct or complete;
4. The best. … the utmost power; the strongest endeavor; the most, the highest perfection;
5. In the highest degree; beyond all other
I see “best” is also “good” to me. “According to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord” (Psalm 25:7). That’s His heart, His character. So "when you can't see or trace His hand in your life and what He is doing, trust His heart. That according to His character and His heart, He is preparing something that is best and wonderful for you.
Waking up one morning in a very broken state of life, I heard God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit agreeing over me saying, “We can rebuild her. We have the tools.” If you grew up when I did, you’d know those are the words to the intro of the weekly sci-fi show “The Six Million Dollar Man” airing 1974-78’. Astronaut Steve Austin was in a spaceship crash and scientists rebuilt him with bionics in surgery, costing six million dollars. I had to pull up the video below. Listen to the words and insert your own name in it.
“Denise Flynn…we can rebuild her…We have the tools…We have the capability… Denise Flynn will be that woman. Better than she was before. Better…Stronger…Faster.”
Don’t you love it! No matter what's going on right now, no matter how broken you are, if you go through it right with God, you will come out healed and better. Lean into God. Use Him for His healing love and power. Know that He wants to love on you and help you. Keep your attitudes toward him and not turning away or lacking trust and hope. Don't become bitter. Be obedient. In doing so, we can count on His promises to rebuild us.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (Psalm 147:3).
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces
perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5
Yeah, these promises can be yours at the cost and sacrifice of Jesus. Look out for YOU…future Six Million Dollar Man and Woman in process of being rebuilt right now!
Choosing Dates & Mates
Have the types of dates & mates you've chosen through the years changed? If not, you may not have grown spiritually, emotionally or relationally.
A hope is that over the years as we come closer in relationship with Christ, we would become more like him in nature…in our character, transferring over to our actions & treatment of others. A hope is that we would fall more in love with God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit. A hope is that we also would have sought wholeness, healing & deliverance for ourselves. The first does not automatically take care of the last. Sometimes people hold back from further healing due to lack or knowledge of what they’re really carrying or where to receive such help from or having pride not to disclose hurts or hangons to others. We choose better dates & mates much like when we decide to put healthier food into our own bodies, we become a better grocery shopper.
The hope is that after being transformed in those ways ourselves first, we would desire another that has the fruit of Christ & has resolved and received healing from inner wounds, great doubts & behaviors that don’t model Christ. I spoke with a person who was asked “What did your former spouse & people you dated all have in common?” The common denominator lead the person asked to a realization of what trait(s) to avoid upon becoming involved again & to take responsibility to not move forward in that case. The common denominator lead the person to committing to changing themselves to make a better future selection.
If one hasn’t courted/dated in a while, what is the reason? Is it because a male/female hasn’t been found with those qualities? We really do have to be praying for the walk & growth of our brothers & sisters, don’t we? Has one found themselves keeping better company in friendships? Has one’s inner circle become filled with love & strength rather than unnecessary drama, people acting out of the will of God or hurtful people? Those are good signs that a person has reached a deeper maturity in Christ. Is it that one has fallen so much in love with Christ that they feel content with Him alone? That’s great too! So many would love to be able to say that, but haven’t come to that place yet. Contentment is beautiful.
So our goal for ourselves should be to chase God & seek wholeness & healing first & if lead, to pursue or wait to be pursued by another with the same heart & spiritual, emotional & relational health in terms of romantic relationships. Choosing the right relationships saves us hurt & increases our joy.
Is there something you want to do that you know you should not? Is it fantasizing over a hot
looking girl or guy? Have you been having a little fun with letting lustful thoughts of them stay in your
mind? Are you finding it difficult to give something or someone up for the sake of honoring God and the better intentions and direction He has for your life? Is there a way to live better according to God’s word that will not be easy for you as far as the discipline required on your part?
Whatever it is you find challenging at this point, know that whatever you are not wanting to do, but do… or whatever you find hard to be without, but carry on forward without it, you can offer the challenge, the pain or the discomfort up as a sacrifice and offering to God.
Numbers 28:1-3 NIV says:
“The Lord said to Moses, 2 “Give this command to the Israelites and say to them: ‘Make sure that you present to me at the appointed time my food offerings, as an aroma pleasing to me.’ 3 Say to them: ‘This is the food offering you are to present to the Lord: two lambs a year old without defect, as a regular burnt offering each day”.
Let’s pull this apart and look inside at it.
Verse 2: “See that you present to me at the appointed time the food for my offerings made by fire,
as an aroma pleasing to me.” So you’ve got something "ungood" I’ll call it going on. it's a struggle inside of you. If you give it and consider God’s feelings above your own (that’s the sacrifice and offering part) God is going to take it as something good…”an aroma pleasing to me”.
Verse 2: “an offering made by fire”…Are you going through the fire right now? The situation is hot and trying you? If you are responding right to the fire, or right to the conviction you are in (by God’s ways), you are being purified. You are being made more into His image and going more to where He wants to take you.
Verse 3: “as a regular burnt offering each day”…Each day you give it all to the Lord as an offering…”Lord, this is (whatever you feel), but I’m offering up my plans and taking on yours instead.
May you find me and my offering pleasing to you like a fine aroma.”
God will find this pleasing. It smells good to Him. It refreshes Him you may say. And whenever you do something toward God, He rewards you.
What makes a man feel comfortable:
~ Obviously, a man feels comfortable with a woman when he feels like he can be himself around you.
~ When he believes the woman has a genuine care and concern about him. But not the kind of care where he feels the woman may have a great romantic interest in him that he cannot return ...this would make him feel uncomfortable instead.
~ When a woman gives him ample time to talk, while you listen to his heart. So become a better patient listener than a talker.
~ Being respected.
~ Being honored.
~ You acknowledging that you like his ideas and what he brings to the table in your relationship, circle of influence and the body of Christ.
~ Before your company commences, setting an atmosphere through prayer and going into the presence of God yourself.
~ During your company, allowing an atmosphere of humor and laughter.
~ Use his name. Most people whether they realize it or not, love to be called by their name in conversations. Think about it from a spiritual aspect as well...God called you by name.
“I have called you by name” (Isaiah 43:1 NLT).
~ Be a balanced and stable woman of emotions. Frequent changing highs and lows rollercoaster rides should only be at the amusement park. This means you are dependent on God and His word to transform you into this beauty.
~ Let him know and prove that you are trustworthy. You are going to keep the personal information and the feelings they share safe, not sharing it with others. A safe place makes it easier for him to open up to you.
~ Have a tender heart.
Generally, people feel most comfortable and free to be their truest selves when they’re around someone who they believe loves them deeply. I have experienced this myself as well. Their best
conversation comes out. Their cutest humor and uniqueness comes out. Their biggest smiles and laughter comes out. This is because they know they’re loved…nothin’ to prove extra. Some may call this a “chemistry”. It’s certainly a chemistry that takes the pressure off.
Well…God loves you…truly. And He’s always around you. So feel free to be your truest self, who He made you to be, how He made you to flow, regardless. No intimidation. Freedom. “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). Let the “You” flow. Let the blessings flow. You just may be the one who others begin to be themselves around then! Be YOU!
Feel free to be yourself with God too as you talk to Him. Tell Him what your heart wonders. Tell Him what your heart feels. Be comfortable with Him, because He does love you.
MARRIED LADIES: Tell him he’s still your “At Last”. Plan your weekend now :) #kindle
SINGLE LADIES: Hold on…He’s coming. #faithup Speak the dream out loud so it won’t be a dream forever. The winters can be long (look at Michigan), but spring DOES COME EVERY YEAR. Even older Christians ARE marrying. Since when does God stop creating Love amongst His people.
God is love. #Wordtrue
“See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season
of singing has come” (Song of Solomon 2:11).
Lyric "Heart wrapped up in clovers" = very happy.
Hang on for YOUR "At Last".
After the wandering Israelites had roamed in the desert of confusion for 40 years, the Lord’s command for them going into Canaan was this: “‘When you enter the land I am going to give you, the land itself must observe a sabbath to the Lord. For six years sow your fields, and for six years prune your vineyards and gather their crops. But in the seventh year the land is to have a year of sabbath rest, a sabbath to the Lord. Do not sow your fields or prune your vineyards. Do not reap what grows of itself or harvest the grapes of your untended vines. The land is to have a year of rest. Whatever the land yields during the sabbath year will be food for you—for yourself, your male and female servants, and the hired worker and temporary resident who live among you” (Leviticus 25:2-6).
Are you spinning your wheels getting nowhere but hurt and confused with men or women? Do you need a rest from dating or relationships? Time away from the frustration of trying to make something work with the opposite gender? Maybe you've been sowing in the wrong places or at the wrong times? Do you need some time just for YOU….no straining…to rest your land? Maybe it’s time for a relationship Sabbath…time to step away from romantic relationships. One definition Noah Webster gives the word Sabbath is an “Intermission of pain or sorrow; time of rest.” …rest your emotions…get or regain your bearings.
In this scripture, the Lord instructed the Israelites to take "a sabbath of rest, a Sabbath to the Lord". Would it make sense to rest from relationships and do it with Him in mind. This Sabbath time, a time of rest, is for the Lord and you together…time to establish a relationship with Him, time to grow in closeness with Him and develop yourself and life with Him…a time solely with Him.
As the scripture says, whatever and all this Sabbath time yields will be for YOU. And the people
closest to you will also reap the food or benefits as you rest, heal, grow and flourish.
If it’s called for, consider this Sabbath as doing something nice for yourself, for the Lord, for the others around you. Rest your land.
I’m typically not a light sleeper; I roll into bed, fall out, get
my rest and am not bothered by much. A month ago I had trouble sleeping for a few nights in a row. One of the reasons was a most ANNOYING, disturbing noise the commode was
making throughout the night. Just when I started to fall asleep, it would make this loud HISSSSSSS noise that would stretch out for about 5 very long seconds. Back to square one…starring at the ceiling was I. I awoke in the morning groggy, irritable and worn out. I didn’t keep my lack of sleep and agony a secret. My friend said, “That’s not normal. There’s something wrong in the tank. The fill valve is broken. Water is filling in the tank when it shouldn’t be. Yeah, that needs replacement.” So I called Maintenance and they replaced the fill valve.
Do the dynamics of this story sound like you? You’re not perfect, but you’re a caring person. You roll with things, you’re easy going and don’t make much into issues? But what about when
something really does bother you? God gave us triggering emotions that sometimes let us know something is wrong and not up to par. Perhaps an example would be when you’re in a relationship and it’s not feeling right or good to you. It’s hurting you. Maybe you feel you’re not treated with honor and respect. Maybe it’s keeping you awake at night; you're losing sleep. Maybe something about the other person or relationship is yelling at you loudly in the face. Maybe something’s not right. The relationship isn't God honoring? Maybe there's a broken part; maybe it’s broke.
Have a heart to heart with God about what to do--repair or replace. Then follow his voice and direction. Make the call. Get your rest.
I never thought I’d be writing about a toilet part and certainly not in relation to relationships.
Are you an analytical person? I am. I’m learning to balance this with prayer and trust. Some of us have a tendency to over think things to get it all right and make sure we are in the perfect will of God before starting things. Wanting to be in the perfect will of God is good! It’s good and brings great benefits! But sometimes if we’ve pondered and pondered something over long
periods of time with some double mindedness, doubt or fear, we may just have to “go down that road” to test the waters. I’ve heard three godly men recently making points to not over think things. I’m inspired by them. It’s all a balance.
We can even over-analyze prospective relationships too much. A relationship expert once shared with a woman who was ambivalent in going forward with a man, “Have fun with this too. Don’t miss the beauty of falling in love by overthinging it .” Yes, be prayerful, wise and cautious. God will stop you before you get to the next city if the relationship is not to be.
“Falling in love” is a many splendored thing too. Enjoy it like you would the scenery along the way to Tennessee--the volumes of lush trees, the grand mountain sides, the beautiful open sky they set
against. Enjoy stretching your legs at the stops along the way for your favorite coffee and snacks—your favorite things you learn about each other. Enjoy even getting a little lost on the drive to Tennessee or getting in a little misunderstanding. Even a slight misunderstanding can be memorable and better when you’re on your way to somewhere good. You’ll pray and watch the signs (right way or wrong way) along the way.
Enjoy falling in love. Don’t miss the bliss of it. Enjoy the ride to Tennessee.
Wisdom & encouragement to share with others!
Denise Flynn writes about Singleness, Relationships, Goal Obtainment & the Christian walk. Order