10 Steps to healing from a breakup:
1) Do not ruminate (going over and over again about things, events or conversations that transpired good or bad). If you’re going to ruminate about something, think over and over again about all the rooms that are in the mansion Jesus has gone to prepare for you. This will have you thinking on things that are pure, lovely and excellent.
For some time in your mind, you will keep re-experiencing the relationship and the break up by flashbacks and intrusive re-living thoughts. Part of this is normal, but why would you allow yourself to continue to participate in that after awhile?
If you don’t take the reins of your mind, pretty soon…not long…Satan will have you wrapped around his big finger with spiraling negative and controlling thoughts. Then once you’re wrapped around his finger, he’ll point that finger right at you and accuse you for being that way. “Satan loves nothing more than “to cripple you and then put you down for limping” -Adriane Rogers.
Process and power will both play a part in your healing. It’s normal to go through steps of
grief (shock, denial, bargaining, anger and depression). So know that some of what you are feeling or thinking are natural aspects of the breakup or relationship not progressing into something further. But at a certain point in these steps of grief (when you just say, “I am going to get through this victoriously), you will have to draw the line and not give the sadness or emotions power over you. When you get to the point of REFUSAL, you will get to the point of REVIVAL. And the way you will defeat that is by
using the power of Christ to take every thought captive, kicking them out of your mind and replace them with all the truth of God. You can say to the thought, “Did you read the sign? It says “Not Allowed!
Good-bye!” Enter…good thought you chose to put in: “God loves me. I am special. There is a plan for me. I will walk confidently.”
Ask yourself this: How many minutes in an hour do I think about the other person? You may need freedom. You may have just been called to take hold of your freedom.
2) Break off and sever soul ties to the other person (attachments of your mind, will and emotions that are run deep). Pray this: “In the name of Jesus, with all His power, I break off any kind of soul tie of whatever degree, between me and _______. My life, mind, will or emotions are no longer connected to them. I am and will walk freely out of this and into the right relationship God has planned for me. I want only what is truly meant for me and no substitutes.”
Now visualize what you just did. Take a piece of ribbon, rope or chain and cut it in two. Leave the pieces where you can see them for however long you need, to remind you that you are now
unattached and free from the other person. When you re-experience feelings or thoughts, look at the pieces and say, “No! I am separated from that person. There is nothing in existence that binds me. I am free in my mind from that person and I am moving forward.
3) Praise it off. Praise your way through and out of depression, sadness or hopelessness.
Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17 NIV). Get freedom while you’re in praise and go in and get more when you need it again.
4) Start thanking God that it didn’t work out. If the other person were really yours, they wouldn’t have left (think of the story of Ruth clinging to Naomi). The person is not needed in the beautiful, large plan for your life. And God says you have one (“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). So out loud, thank God for His care. It doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong with the other person.
You don’t have to think negatively about them in order to feel better about yourself; just be concerned about yourself at this point. Say “Thank God I’ve been saved from the wrong decision. I’m putting this all in your hands Lord.”
5) Don’t put the other person on a pedestal. It’s easy to make them an idol without even realizing, but check yourself, you probably are. So they were cool, yes they are. They had specific traits and ways you really liked. Purposely open your eyes though and start looking around you. You will see that other people have some of those same traits too. One may have this one and another may have that one, but that’s proof to you that those traits can be found again. There are other cool people too. This should help you get a better cognitive understanding.
6) Forgive the other person. Let yourself out of captivity and torture.
7) Pray this if you feel rejected:
Father, I repent for receiving rejection, even if the parting is not my fault or I feel I didn’t deserve it. I repent. You have proven and say I am so much more than rejected. By the blood that you shed, I am free from this. I will not remain a victim.
I put this rejection back onto you Jesus; for it was for these kinds of things and more that you willingly died for me. Thank you for taking it for me Jesus. I apply your blood to this feeling and whatever has transpired. I have nothing to be ashamed of.
I am free now. Rejection has no more power over me.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
8) Bless the other person in prayer.
9) Write a positive statement about yourself. And know that God multiplies that many times over.
10) Dig into Jesus. Go after a richer relationship with God. He is so desiring of you. He loves you more than anyone else ever could.
Wisdom & encouragement to share with others!
Denise Flynn writes about Singleness, Relationships, Goal Obtainment & the Christian walk. Order