Table of Contents
1/ Marry Me!
2/ First Things First
3/ Getting Together
4/ The Choice Is Yours?
5/ The Real Deal
6/ Gender Similarities
7/ Gender Differences
8/ Bless Fest
9/ Snazz It Up!
10/ Relationship Status
11/ Heart in Pocket
12/ Keeping Hope Alive
13/ Right Click If You Like Me
14/ Party On!
15/ Frankly Speaking
16/ Living Fruit
17/ Mirror This Radiant Marriage
18/ Make Your Shopping
19/ Flip It
20/ Got Issues?
21/ Ending a Relationship
22/ The Grieve, Acceptance & Healing
23/ The Sword…Power Verses for Victory
24/ Experiencing Love
25/ My Testimony
26/ Singing & Waiting
27/ The Unveiling
28/ How’s Your Love Life?
©Arc Press 2011
“Marry Me!” That beautiful invitation to intimacy and closeness. God says “Marry Me!” to us. He says “Marry me again every day. Fall deeper in love with me. Come into a full, hold-nothing-back relationship with me. I’ll make you whole and joyous.” He wants to be in an intimate, committed love relationship with us that only comes when we say “Yes” to Jesus’ proposal of “Marry Me!” And then He allows us to marry another…human being.
(from Chapter 1)
I think wanting a relationship is like wanting chocolate cake. Chocolate cake is good just as God made marriage to be. And there are times when we just want chocolate cake more than other times. SOMETIMES YOU CRAVE IT, sometimes you don’t. And it’s okay to eat it conservatively, but don’t let the desire for it get the best of you. Different things and times can trigger the desire of marriage or chocolate cake. The perfect thing to me …is to eat chocolate cake ON your wedding day! Ha ha. Do not feel guilty or doubt your own love for the Lord because the desire for marriage may come up. So long as you keep that desire in balance and put all our adoration on the Lord, it is normal. Stay in faith, because without it He is not moved. It is good to be able to voice our desires to others who can support us when the desire becomes a little trying sometimes.
(from Chapter 2)
Is It Friendship or More?
Gentlemen, when women say they want to be just friends, they usually mean it. They don’t not mean it. Take it at absolute face value. Drop it. They have come to a place and they have made their decision inside. Don’t wait with false hope that she will change her mind. If she does, it is likely not to be a true formation of the right, authentic kind of love.
Ladies, your challenge is to make sure you don’t “fall in love” before you find out you actually do not like the man you’ve been seeing. Attachments can form from the sheer dint of time you spend with someone. That makes it very, very hard to distinguish between a “habit attachment” (when you’re used to the person being around and feel so uneasy when they’re not) and genuine love.
If you actually do have an interest in a man, but don’t know whether he’s interested as well, just sit tight. You don’t want to be in a situation where you have more interest than him and believe me, if he is that motivated, he will eventually make the first move. Sometimes, when the woman makes the first move, the man goes along for the ride until he is no longer interested…not good for you. Not to say that you can’t drop hints. Sometimes men are a bit slow. As a woman, you can help him “get a clue”. Throw a gentle softball pitch like “I enjoy your company.” See if he takes a swing or lets the ball go by. Let him know you think highly of him. Pay some attention to him, smile, take a slight interest in his life, ask questions, or invite him to a group event. Like Hansel and Gretel, liter the pathway to the house with rose petals of interest. Light the runway and give him permission to approach. Just know when to change directions if he is not responding with signs of interest.
Women, after having taken the above steps—giving your time, conversation, compliments, leave it all in his court to ask or suggest anything further to you. He is supposed to be the leader. If it happens that he does like you, but doesn’t have the guts to ask, do you really want that in a man’s personality or character?
Look at how Ruth made her interest known to Boaz. she followed Naomi’s instruction to tip Boaz off of her interest by following the moral Israelite custom and law of the time. Ruth let her interest in Boaz be made known to him by 1) Coming alongside him and moving his garment, uncovering his feet. 2) Asking Boaz to spread the corner of his garment over her. Then she left the rest in God’s and Boaz’s hands.
Sometimes it’s difficult discerning the nice things the opposite gender says or does. The ministering men and women are nice, sweet, friendly people regardless. While it is an absolute blessing to be in the healthy company of the opposite gender as opposed to being in the company of those lacking the ability to bless, it can have its other set of frustrations. Turn your frustration into wisdom here. How is one really to know if the person you have an interest in is mutually interested?
(from Chapter 10)
Destiny and Calling
Have you had someone walk away from you? Instead of asking
those endless questions that are so tempting to ask—Why isn’t he interested in
me? What don’t I have? What am I missing? Say instead, "No, that’s God." I have
asked God to open and shut doors. He knows my man/woman. He has someone for me.
I have asked him for a husband/wife. I am obedient. I have God whole heartedly
first in my life and I still have the balanced desire to marry. He knows I would
put my desire aside for Him if I need to. Take those negative, fiery arrow
thoughts captive and NEVER take the lack of a man’s/woman’s interest personally.
They are not intended for you. Blame it, instead on your good God. God knows
your fine intricacies. He knows your kingdom callings. He knows your strengths and the weaknesses. He knows who will be well suited together with in order to meet His objectives. He knows who you belong to. Your Daddy will pick him real good! It’s going to be one of those "When God Chooses Your Mate" testimonies for me. It’s going to be
that good! "Nothing occurs to God" (Adriane Rogers)
“Grace is the sweet manipulator that enables you to do what needs to be done—what seems like the impossible; Grace is the invisible, beyond-understanding empowerment in your time of need.”
‘The English Standard version says he was a “worthy man”. This is not pertaining solely to his finances. So, I’m waiting for a Boaz, not a “beau AS IS”! And any good Christian man is looking for an outstanding woman like an Esther…not an “I wish I had married her instead of you!”’
“If your ordained spouse truly is your “one-in-a-million”, then you are going to have to pass by the other 999,999 people. So try to keep things in perspective when nothing else is working out in your relationships. When you’ve found your one-in-a-million, you can truly say they are your miracle.” --“Though it linger, wait for it.” Habakkuk 2:2
“And so, ladies and gentlemen, what have we learned today? Serve each other. Don’t serve to get a blessing. Don’t serve to get a man or a woman. Just serve him or her because he or she is your brother or sister in Christ and it is the right thing to do. We honor our family. Honor them in place of all the people that never honored them before in their life. But you never know, you may both just get an even bigger blessing out of it. Look for someone with a servant’s heart, good integrity and judgment. Look for one who does what is right in the eyes of God. Not a perfect person, but one who more often than not takes the higher road.”
“I have single, platonic, male friends who bless me in chivalrous ways, and it makes me only want to bless them back and honor them more. I don’t think there are many singles that couldn’t use a blessing every now and then. Chivalry, help, respect, honor, words of affirmation or even gifts distributed throughout the single Christian community can go a long way towards eliminating loneliness and purposelessness, and will help the Body of Christ function the way in which it was intended. It let singles know they don’t have to settle for bad romantic relationships just to get some nurturing or care.”